More On Customers...

Been a long time since I have contributed to Chopsticks, and for that I apologize. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to comment on this topic, however.

I worked as a waitress for 4 years prior to being a corporate minion at Starbucks for 2.5 years. We had our fair share of wonderful customers, and crappy crappy thoughtless selfish people who thought that you were put on this earth to be their slave for minimum wage (actually less if you were a waitress).

My Starbucks was what we refer to as a "Million Dollar Store", which basically meant we were consistently busy. We were also located in an outdoor mall, in downtown Boca Raton, Florida. That means money. All kinds of money. Trophy wives who leave their kids with the nanny so they can go to the gym and take yoga classes in $200 velour track suits, kind of money. Anyways, most of our regulars were cool. Hell, if you are going to have someone make your coffee everyday, you might as well have a friendly exchange, ne? Well, not everyone felt this way. In fact, out of the 5 other Starbucks in a 3 mile radius, we had the lowest average weekly tips. Thanks, I guess I know why you can afford that plastic surgery now.

I will now provide you with two "behind the espresso machine" perspectives. We had the homeless lady who would come in and order a venti cup of water with ice. Ok, that's fine and free. She would go to the condiment bar, dump out 1/4 of the water, put in about 10 packets of sweet & low, and then top off the cup with cream. ??? Mmmm... delicious. Then, she would fall asleep in the fluffy armchair and pass gas all afternoon. I tell you of her, because she was rather harmless, we didn't much mind her, and she was nice enough.

The real problem was "triple shot espresso in an iced venti cup". Everyday she would come in with serious attitude, demand her beverage, and after bestowing us with her bitchy remark of the day, would walk to the condiment bar and fill her entire venti cup with 1/2 and 1/2, often emptying out the cannister. At which point she would return to us, and scream about how we were lazy and didn't have the cannister topped off. This is an infamous beverage in barista circles, because if you order like this, your drink costs about $4 less than it would if she actually ordered an iced triple venti breve latte, her drink's real name. Did I mention how wealthy this woman was? Seriously? Stealing 1/2 and 1/2? We confronted her several times, because she was so mean, and snuck in a milk charge a few times. Whoa... the rage. She tried to get several of us fired, but even the District Manager hated her. Good times.

She would often change her order and demand something else that either wasn't on the menu, and required a lot of extra time to concoct. Or, she would request a particular barista to make her drink, because they know exactly what she wants. I had to come to the front several times while doing cash counting in the back room, to make her f(*&%ing drinks. If she ordered regular drip coffee, she made us fill the cup to the brim. This burned several baristas, because you can't put the lid on properly when the cup is so full. Oh... the lid. If you touch any of the inner part of the lid, you must throw the coffee out and make her a new one, for it has been tainted! The hilarious thing about all this was she thought we LIKED HER!? Clearly crazier than the flatulent homeless woman.

So, yeah. I agree with Angelo. Some people need to die.